A big ol’ bag of mixed emotions

So there were some good moments and some not-so-good moments at our appointment this morning.

First, props to S for going with me. She was so supportive and sweet, even when we were kept waiting in a tiny exam room for half an hour before the doctor showed up, which was pretty annoying. I mean, we both have very busy work schedules. S diligently took notes the entire time, thank goodness! I’m so glad she was there.

I was expecting to feel specific emotions when I left the fertility center today. When we walked out though, I wasn’t sure how I felt. Maybe a little overwhelmed? I went straight to work and dove into a busy day, which was a nice distraction. Now that I’ve had time to digest everything, I feel more positive about the whole experience.

First the good stuff. Dr. H was very happy with all my blood test results. She said I have excellent numbers and appear to have lots of eggs left!

We were all in a good mood and chatty until we started the ultrasound. The whole transvag thing actually wasn’t as bad as I anticipated. The only uncomfortable part was when she was looking at my right ovary. It kept flopping around and making it hard for her to get a good look. I finally had to press down hard on my right abdomen to help keep it one place. That was a little painful.

The results: It seems I have 2 pretty large polyps in my uterus. She was looking at the lining, which was triple striped, and we all saw the 2 big light colored blobs on either side of the interior. She inspected them for a long time before finally admitting that, yes, she was pretty certain those were polyps.

On to my ovaries! With me at CD10, she counted 15 follicles on each ovary, but the largest one was only 9mm. She said at this point in my cycle, she would expect to see one closer to 20mm. She said I might have already ovulated, since my lining was so thick. I have never ovulated before CD10 though and my temperature hasn’t spiked yet. Advice please, ladies! With those numbers, I asked her about PCOS, but she stepped around it and avoided suggesting it was a possibility. What do you think? I feel like the number of follicles was really high, but how does the size compare? I usually ovulate between CD12 -15 and I have no idea how quickly those things grow.

Last item from the ultrasound: it seems I might have Adenomyosis. I had to google it right after the appointment. For those that aren’t familiar with it, Adenomyosis occurs when endometrial tissue, which normally lines the uterus, exists within and grows into the muscular wall of the uterus. The displaced endometrial tissue continues to act as it normally would — thickening, breaking down and bleeding — during each menstrual cycle. An enlarged uterus and painful, heavy periods can result. It’s localized in one spot, but we noticed it because one side of my uterine wall is noticeable thicker than the other side. Odd, because those most likely to have this condition are women who have given birth or had uterine surgery. Um, I’ve had neither of those. Weird.

So what the fuck does this all mean? Good question. Dr. H’s mood definitely became more serious during the ultrasound. I don’t think she was expecting to see those results. Well, that makes three of us. But she did lay out very specific next steps, which made me feel better.

Next steps! Next week I go have blood drawn to check my progesterone levels. That will tell us if I ovulated. I’ll start peeing on OPK sticks tomorrow and resume taking my temp to check for it as well.

I’ll call them on my next CD1 to schedule an HSG exam. Not looking forward to that, but this will allow them a better look inside my uterus to determine the true size of the polyps. She said I’ll probably need to have them removed because once they’re a certain size, they can interfere with implantation. If the HSG results in a definitive polyp diagnosis, we’ll schedule the removal of them for the following cycle (June).

For now, we’re ignoring the adenomyosis, as she said there’s not much we could do about it anyway, besides remove the uterus. Obviously not happening. There’s a small chance it could contribute to infertility, but we’ll cross that bridge when we come to it.

So it looks like we won’t be inseminating until July at the earliest. Honestly, I was heartbroken to hear that. Dr. H said, “Look, if you were 40, I’d suggest we do the HSG and then immediately remove the polyps in the same cycle. But you’re young and you have lots of eggs left, so we have time. Let’s not be impatient.”

I’m sad we’re postponing our tries, but I do like how thorough this clinic is. I feel like we’re in good hands and they’ll take care of us. Dr. H was so great about pointing everything out to us during the ultrasound and explaining it all in detail. She answered all of our questions and our scheduled 60 min. appointment ended up lasting an hour and half! (Apologies to whoever had the appointment after me!) I’m really happy with her.

So yeah, lots of feelings. Some good, some sad. The first step has been taken. Now the trick is to just stay patient and not freak out.

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11 thoughts on “A big ol’ bag of mixed emotions

  1. That’s a lot of information for one appointment!
    Sending you lots of love and support. Also, the HSG (IMO) is FAR worse than the pushing to find an ovary during a transvaginal ultrasound. My left ovary hasn’t been seen in over 2 years, but they always tried to find it the exact same way you described. 😉

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  2. Hsg really varies how bad it is by the person, I hope you’re like me and it wasn’t any worse than a pap smear.
    About PCOS, some doctors are hesitant to diagnose of you have regular periods. Having polycystic ovaries and PCOS are two different things. My ovaries are clearly polycystic but I don’t meet the criteria for PCOS because I have about 12 periods a year. Random fact: one study showed about eighty percent of lesbians have polycystic ovaries but only about twenty percent or so have full blown PCOS.

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    • Wow, thanks. I had no idea about the difference! I have a period every month and a positive OPK, so it seems I might just have polycystic ovaries as well. It’s so nice to know women that have already dealt with this stuff!

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  3. No ideas about the lining, but 9mm is not crazy at CD10 – They can grow 2+ mm each day, so by CD15 you could be at 20+ mm. You might just be preparing to ovulate on CD 16 or 17, and that’s not too crazy. My follicles seem to have a little growth spurt right before I ovulate.

    Sorry it was mixed news – I hope some clear solutions come your way soon!

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  4. Sorry you had some mixed news at your appointment, your doctor sounds like she is very thorough which is good.
    I had an ultrasound contrast study instead of a HSG- the actual procedure wasn’t bad. They inflate a balloon in the cervix during that procedure though, and that gave me some cramping type pain but it didnt last. I took some panadol before the procedure for the pain- I would have taken valium if given some!
    I read somewhere about follicles that you will have 10-20 small follicles each side, and then only a few become dominant enough to rupture (ovulate). Depending on how good your doctors Ultrasound scanner is, they may or may not be able to count these small follicles. Sounds like your docs’ scanner is a good one if you can count the smaller follicles.

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