It is Wednesday, right? I lose track of the days of the week somewhere around Tuesday.
First up on my whine list: my commute. We’re looking into getting a second car but first we have to look over our finances and we’d like to pay off our current car. S mentioned looking this weekend, but we’ll see. I’m a preparer and hate jumping into something big, like buying a car, without a plan already laid out. In the meantime, I’ve been late to work every day this week and I’ve found that I have to leave around 3:45pm in order to not be late meeting the nanny at 5pm. Because sometimes public transit isn’t so great. So I’m in the office for only about 7 hours a day. Sounds great, right? Except I have a mountain of work to do for our big November fundraiser. My tight schedule in the office is just stressful right now.
Whine #2 – pumping. I’ve had a very low milk supply from the get-go, but I’ve been pumping religiously and nursing Mabel in the mornings. Suddenly last weekend, my supply took another dip. Normally, 3-4 pumping sessions a day would yield about 4 oz. Enough for a bottle for Mabel. And I was fine with that. One day that just dropped down to 2.5 oz – the total after pumping 4 times! Now it takes me 2 days to pump 1 bottles worth of breast milk. I’m taking all kinds of herbs and drinking lactation tea every day, but it hasn’t budged in the last few days. I’m giving it more time, but I sadly can see the end of pumping in my near future.
Whine #3 – comparisons. I know I shouldn’t compare myself to other moms or Mabel to other babies. I know this! But it’s hard not to. My friend L, who we’ll have a nannyshare with when she starts back to work in 2 weeks, is wonderful. She’s hilarious and smart and while we’ve been colleagues (we work at the same nonprofit) for a while, we bonded over being pregnant at the same time and have become good friends. Because we have daughters only 5 weeks apart in age, it’s been easy to compare our journeys. L has an abundance of breast milk. She can feed her daughter and then pump 8 oz in one sitting like its nothing. You just heard my story (see Whine #2). L was wearing her pre-pregnancy jeans 3 weeks after giving birth. I can only fit into 2 of my pre-pregnancy pants now, 4 months postpartum – and those are my super stretchy jeggings. And last but not least, L’s daughter just started sleeping 8 hours a night! Straight. As in from 9pm – 5am. SHE’S the elusive 3 month old sleeping through the night. I love my life. I love my kiddo – who is down to two wake ups per night. I hate that I’m putting any sort of dark cloud over this motherhood experience by comparing us to others. I’m working on it.
That’s enough whining for one morning.