Whiney Wednesday

It is Wednesday, right? I lose track of the days of the week somewhere around Tuesday.

First up on my whine list: my commute. We’re looking into getting a second car but first we have to look over our finances and we’d like to pay off our current car. S mentioned looking this weekend, but we’ll see. I’m a preparer and hate jumping into something big, like buying a car, without a plan already laid out. In the meantime, I’ve been late to work every day this week and I’ve found that I have to leave around 3:45pm in order to not be late meeting the nanny at 5pm. Because sometimes public transit isn’t so great. So I’m in the office for only about 7 hours a day. Sounds great, right? Except I have a mountain of work to do for our big November fundraiser. My tight schedule in the office is just stressful right now. 

Whine #2  – pumping. I’ve had a very low milk supply from the get-go, but I’ve been pumping religiously and nursing Mabel in the mornings. Suddenly last weekend, my supply took another dip. Normally, 3-4 pumping sessions a day would yield about 4 oz. Enough for a bottle for Mabel. And I was fine with that. One day that just dropped down to 2.5 oz – the total after pumping 4 times! Now it takes me 2 days to pump 1 bottles worth of breast milk. I’m taking all kinds of herbs and drinking lactation tea every day, but it hasn’t budged in the last few days. I’m giving it more time, but I sadly can see the end of pumping in my near future. 

Whine #3 – comparisons. I know I shouldn’t compare myself to other moms or Mabel to other babies. I know this! But it’s hard not to. My friend L, who we’ll have a nannyshare with when she starts back to work in 2 weeks, is wonderful. She’s hilarious and smart and while we’ve been colleagues (we work at the same nonprofit) for a while, we bonded over being pregnant at the same time and have become good friends. Because we have daughters only 5 weeks apart in age, it’s been easy to compare our journeys. L has an abundance of breast milk. She can feed her daughter and then pump 8 oz in one sitting like its nothing. You just heard my story (see Whine #2). L was wearing her pre-pregnancy jeans 3 weeks after giving birth. I can only fit into 2 of my pre-pregnancy pants now, 4 months postpartum – and those are my super stretchy jeggings. And last but not least, L’s daughter just started sleeping 8 hours a night! Straight. As in from 9pm – 5am. SHE’S the elusive 3 month old sleeping through the night. I love my life. I love my kiddo – who is down to two wake ups per night. I hate that I’m putting any sort of dark cloud over this motherhood experience by comparing us to others. I’m working on it.

That’s enough whining for one morning. 

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11 thoughts on “Whiney Wednesday

  1. I’m sorry you’re struggling right now. Going and looking at cars this weekend doesn’t mean you have to buy one right now, it can just give you an idea of what you want and what things cost. Planning that out is definitely a good idea!! Also sorry your commute sucks. B used to take the metro to work daily, and there was definitely multiple occasions where I had to go pick him up from somewhere because it broke down or they closed the track or something. They SAY it’s dependable, but totally not! So while you should research and plan the car thing, I hope you can get it all settled soon!
    As for the baby…I know I will compare as well when mine gets here, so I’m not going to tell you not to do that. But I will tell you to try not to be so hard on yourself. Obviously we all know that every mom and baby is different. Don’t beat yourself up over situations you can’t control. You’re doing everything you can, and that’s what matters. Your little is happy and healthy, and that’s what’s most important! *hugs*

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thanks! You’re right, looking at cars doesn’t mean we have to get one. It would be nice see what’s out there and what we’ll likely be paying. I keep reminding myself that Mabel is healthy and happy and that’s the most important thing. I think I’m just adjusting to being away from her each day and trying to figure out my identity now that I’m a working mom. It feels a bit like being stuck between two different worlds. Thanks for the hugs!

      Liked by 1 person

      • Totally understandable. That’s why I truly want with all of my being to stay home for Cadence’s first year. But I also know that may not be financially realistic. I’ll cross that bridge when I’m forced to, but I know it’ll be hard! I truly give working moms SOOOOOO much credit!! And you’re welcome!

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Remember that EVERYONE has their struggle. Whether it’s morning sickness, breastmilk, baby fat, post partum depression, challenges for their child (mentally or physically), or something else, we all have a “problem” at some point on the journey. Some people just don’t verbalize theirs, or they try to make things look perfect on the outside.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. It’s hard not to compare, but chances are good that other mom has some demons in her closet, too. I have yet to meet a mom who doesn’t. Just remember that you’re the perfect mom for Mabel and she is the perfect daughter for you. And as for pumping–well, pumping sucks. Low milk supply is so frustrating. (I have soooooo been there.) Don’t let it make you crazy! I let it make me crazy and I really regret it.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I just saw an article on why it’s not necessarily a good thing to try to get your baby to sleep through the night (at that young of an age at least) because it is healthier for them and better for maintaining milk supply to feed throughout the night. So sure it’s great for your friend’s sleep, but some experts argue it’s better for Mabel to eat through the night.
    I’m sure it is impossible to not compare. My baby is only 3 weeks, but I am certain I will be stressing over comparisons soon.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. I’m five months postpartum tomorrow and I can only fit into two pairs of prepreggo jeans… And I have a cute little muffin top to add to them! Everyone’s body is different and it’s so easy to compare… But I say- buy some new pants that you feel sexy and comfortable in and tell yourself that your body will go back when it’s good and ready. Right now- you have to make sure you and your little babe are healthy. The rest will fall into place.
    Whine away my friend, whine away. I always feel better once I do 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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